Maybe I should explain a little about me so that you understand what I'm talking about in my future blogs about my adventures in London(:
I just graduated from Glacier Peak High School and turned 18 in June (but I feel like I'm still 5). I love to be around people and go new places. I don't like things to stay the same for too long or else I lose interest. I move my room around about once every month or so because I get bored with the same surroundings and the type of music I listen to or like at the moment all depends on my mood. I like to try new things no matter how crazy they sound. Anything from deep fried bamboo worms in Thailand to buying a guitar spur of the moment on craigslist for $20 and trying to teach myself off youtube videos. I don't ever plan anything out and I wait to the last possible minute to do anything. Schedules are nice for a while until they get repetitive and my imaginary ADD kicks in. I'm very good at hiding my feelings but I'm very easy to read. I'm the kind of person that likes to please other people and do things to make them happy over myself. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. I trust way too easily and I always find the good in people even when nobody else can or understands what I see. If you take the time to sit down and have a conversation then I can be a serious person, but most of the time things are no big deal and I'm very light hearted about everything.
If I open my heart up to you, I don't just give you a part of it. I am very much all or nothing, black and white. I am very indecisive about most everything and I think so fast that it's hard to process everything. If I get too excited about things, my brain works faster than my mouth and I stumble over my words or they don't come out right. I have a very light sense of humor and I'm so sarcastic about things that I think I might come off as rude at first....but once you get to know me you know it's all in fun.(:
I love God with all my heart. He is my rock and my foundation. I am learning to trust Him in everything I do and it's amazing to me how much He has changed my heart since I went to camp this year. I have been raised in a Christian home all my life and in Northlake Christian Church since the nursery, but He was never this real to me until this year. I have become a completely different person. Not saying I'm perfect because if you know me well, you know I'm far from it. But I have finally accepted the fact that Jesus loves me at my lowest. He loves me when I have denied Him over and over and when I have flat out told Him that I will NOT love Him back simply because I don't want to put in the effort. He has chased after my heart relentlessly and I am so happy that I finally realized this love that I have been trying to cover with so many other things. He fits that hole in my heart perfectly that I have been trying to plug for so long. He is my best friend and my Father. I cannot wait to leap into His arms in Heaven when He finally calls me home.
Every morning I wake up, look out my window and think to myself..."God loves me so much more than He cares about my mistakes. He lifts me up daily from my sin and dusts me off every time I fall. I accept that He loves me this much to DIE for me, and I choose to live today loving Him in everything I do." To me it's a daily choice to love God. It is truly a choice, just like in marriage. This start out all giddy and bubbly and amazing but they don't stay easy. And through it all, God thinks we are worth it when we spit in His face and want to give up on out "marriage" to Him. Even when I don't want to love Him, I choose to.
Can't wait to get on that plane later today and find out where He is going to take me(:
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