WOW. So much time has gone by since I've had time to write. By this time I have had Christmas in Edinburgh, New Years in London, been to Uzice Serbia for outreach and then gone up to Rotherham for the last two and a half weeks. I'm so sorry for not writing, it's been crazy busy! It's the last couple of days of DTS and I can't decide whether I'm excited, dissapointed, happy or sad about it.
I can't wait to see everyone at home, but I'm loosing family to gain family.
If you want to know about my experience, we should go out to coffee(: There's a lot to say and not enough time to type it out. Let's get a coffee or something! Thank you so much for your support and love whilst I've been away!
I ♥ London
My adventures, dramas, stories, insight, feelings, thoughts and revelations of God while I invest these next 5 months completely to the love of my life, Jesus Christ.
November 21, 2010
So I have had a VERY excited past couple days(: Allan (my biological father) left me such an amazing gift. I've always known that I have a brother and sister from him somewhere but I have never known their names and have never been able to get ahold of them. Thanks to a friend of my mom, I got their names and looked them up on facebook yesterday(:
I'll introduce them to you...
I now have Morgan (my sister) and Tyler (my brother). They're 16 year old twins and live in North Carolina(: I thought it was funny that their birthday is exactly 6 months after mine (December 21), I'm a year and a half older down to the day:P I got ahold of Morgan and we've talked quite a bit but I haven't heard from Tyler yet. She handled it pretty well and after the shock settled in I thought we had a really good conversation(:
Today's blog is short and sweet, but I wanted to share my joy with you. I'm so happy that God has brought them into my life and that they're open to being a part of it. I can now say that I have three siblings...all of which are 16. Haha(:
I'll introduce them to you...
I now have Morgan (my sister) and Tyler (my brother). They're 16 year old twins and live in North Carolina(: I thought it was funny that their birthday is exactly 6 months after mine (December 21), I'm a year and a half older down to the day:P I got ahold of Morgan and we've talked quite a bit but I haven't heard from Tyler yet. She handled it pretty well and after the shock settled in I thought we had a really good conversation(:
Today's blog is short and sweet, but I wanted to share my joy with you. I'm so happy that God has brought them into my life and that they're open to being a part of it. I can now say that I have three siblings...all of which are 16. Haha(:
November 18, 2010
It's funny what ideas and thoughts come to the surface when you speak them out. I had my one on one time with Lisa last night and we just talked about this week and how we were feeling about things and what I thought I might do after DTS. Then we started talking about what God had been revealing to me and how the last couple days I have felt a bit burnt from all the information and how tired I was from the mini outreach. Then I started to think about my life and things that I was still holding from God and I realized that I knew God's presence in my mind but that it was only a thought. I realized that I had experienced the presence of God but that it hadn't become a constant in my life. The revelation that God is ALWAYS with me hasn't yet sunk into my heart and therefore I cannot understand the Father heart of God.
I think I struggle with understanding that God is my Father because I compare him to the examples of Father's that I have seen and known. I LOVE my daddy with all my heart. And I know that he loves me more than I could ever imagine. In knowing this I also know that it's not always easy for that love to be shown through actions. From my side and from his. I also think back sometimes on how my biological father left before I was old enough to remember him and even though I never thought it affected me, it has been a bother since I have started to dig into God's heart and his Father authority in my life.
I am so thankful that I have the blessing of calling Darren Trimble my dad. He has raised me up in the Lord and loved me better than I could have ever asked for. Despite the fact that I didn't come from him, I am apart of him and I am HIS daughter. I was adopted by my daddy in the same way I have been adopted by my Father in Heaven and I want so badly to know this in my heart. I am praying for revelation from God that will change my understanding of his love and how deep it runs through my life. I want to know in my heart that he is my ultimate Father and that even if I had been left fatherless by my biological dad, that He would have been there to hold me and love me. It's not enough for me to know it in my head, I want it to sink to my heart and make its home there. I am God's daughter and He is my Father. I need this revelation to I can better understand the depth of His love and His purpose for my life.
It also came up to me that I have been afraid of coming to London and seeking God and finding Him but then going home (if He so called me) and losing that fire. I was afraid of being abandoned by God even though I know in my head that He will never abandon me. Again, it needs to penetrate my HEART. We had a teaching today on obedience and how if we live according to God then obedience will become natural. And how by living in obedience we won't have to worry about what's right and wrong and knowing how to combat it. At the end Rosemary(the lady teaching) had words for all of us. Without any conversation with her except giving her my name, she closed her eyes and started speaking to me about how I need to practice the presence of God and desire it so that it will happen. I was already blown away at this point since it was EXACTLY what I told Lisa I wanted; She went on to say that I needed to stop doubting myself and God and that I just need to believe that He is with me and believe in His love and that it would be. I have also struggled with thinking I was just another person and knowing my self worth and she spoke to this too. She told me about a pink diamond that had just been sold for about 30 million pounds (45 million dollars) because of how rare it was. Then she told me that my value to God far surpasses the value of that little diamond because I am not only rare, I am unique and there is only one of me in the entire universe. I couldn't help but smile.
I want to know God's presence in my heart. I want to know Him as my Father and to accept the fact that to Him I am more than enough and that no matter what I do or what I have done, He will always accept me for who I am and He will always love me. Please pray with me for this revelation. God Bless.
I think I struggle with understanding that God is my Father because I compare him to the examples of Father's that I have seen and known. I LOVE my daddy with all my heart. And I know that he loves me more than I could ever imagine. In knowing this I also know that it's not always easy for that love to be shown through actions. From my side and from his. I also think back sometimes on how my biological father left before I was old enough to remember him and even though I never thought it affected me, it has been a bother since I have started to dig into God's heart and his Father authority in my life.
I am so thankful that I have the blessing of calling Darren Trimble my dad. He has raised me up in the Lord and loved me better than I could have ever asked for. Despite the fact that I didn't come from him, I am apart of him and I am HIS daughter. I was adopted by my daddy in the same way I have been adopted by my Father in Heaven and I want so badly to know this in my heart. I am praying for revelation from God that will change my understanding of his love and how deep it runs through my life. I want to know in my heart that he is my ultimate Father and that even if I had been left fatherless by my biological dad, that He would have been there to hold me and love me. It's not enough for me to know it in my head, I want it to sink to my heart and make its home there. I am God's daughter and He is my Father. I need this revelation to I can better understand the depth of His love and His purpose for my life.
It also came up to me that I have been afraid of coming to London and seeking God and finding Him but then going home (if He so called me) and losing that fire. I was afraid of being abandoned by God even though I know in my head that He will never abandon me. Again, it needs to penetrate my HEART. We had a teaching today on obedience and how if we live according to God then obedience will become natural. And how by living in obedience we won't have to worry about what's right and wrong and knowing how to combat it. At the end Rosemary(the lady teaching) had words for all of us. Without any conversation with her except giving her my name, she closed her eyes and started speaking to me about how I need to practice the presence of God and desire it so that it will happen. I was already blown away at this point since it was EXACTLY what I told Lisa I wanted; She went on to say that I needed to stop doubting myself and God and that I just need to believe that He is with me and believe in His love and that it would be. I have also struggled with thinking I was just another person and knowing my self worth and she spoke to this too. She told me about a pink diamond that had just been sold for about 30 million pounds (45 million dollars) because of how rare it was. Then she told me that my value to God far surpasses the value of that little diamond because I am not only rare, I am unique and there is only one of me in the entire universe. I couldn't help but smile.
I want to know God's presence in my heart. I want to know Him as my Father and to accept the fact that to Him I am more than enough and that no matter what I do or what I have done, He will always accept me for who I am and He will always love me. Please pray with me for this revelation. God Bless.
November 12-15th 2010
Wow! What an amazing weekend! The presence of God was so tangible in everything we did and I loved the opportunity to get closer to the smaller group of people that went with me. There were 11 of us on this mini outreach to Sheffield (4 hours north of our house in Harlesdon) and we took a megabus. It was a 3 and a half hour bus ride bit every minute of it was a blast. This man with super curly hair got on the bus and Makayla (Colorado) really wanted to sit by him but chickened out and now on the bus ride home he's sitting in the exact same seat as the way here! it was meant to be. when we arrived, Helen and Chris met us and took us where we stayed in the newly renovated building next to the church they worked at. what's the first thing we do when we get there? play a game of coarse! and who won? Tom (London); the guy that had no idea how to play. it was great(: then we settled in and made our beds on the floor and got ready for intercession. okay first of all, Sheffield is the countryside of England so everything reminded me of home because of the valley of snohomish...until we encountered our first civilian. indent know if you realize this but every part of England has different accents. unfortunately the one from Sheffield is totally inunderstandable...I think I just made that word up but it's exactly what I meant. you cannot understand a word of anything anyone says because it's all mumbled together and everyone speaks so quickly. luckily Tom speaks like that so we had a translator!(: anyway, we walked down to the skate park (Tom, Vanessa-Spain, Ben-Tennessee, and I) and as soon as we got down the hill and under a covered area the smell of marijuana was stronger than anything I had every smelt before. there were guys that were about 18 or 19 giving 12 and 13 year old boys the last bit of what they were smoking. it disgusted me but broke my heart at the same time. I said I couldn't understand the accent but maybe I should clarify that the words I did understand are ones I wouldn't have used anyway if you catch my drift. we prayed against addiction and hopelessness then returned to our "home". after we finished that we ate dinner and then moved in the furniture from the downstairs to the offices we were sleeping in. Helen and Chris run a media company that does websites and such for different clients. they are training men that live in a family home for men that come from rehab and have nowhere to live. I will get to them in a minute. so we moved in the furniture and then had some free time and went to bed.
the next morning (Saturday) we got up bright and early, ate breakfast and then split into teams to serve in two different places. my group (Stephie-California, Makayla and Vanessa) went to a fall festival that one of the churches was putting on and had tea and biscuits with people and then helped clean up after. the other team wen to rake leaves at a home where the church is starting ministry for women and their children who are living in difficult situations. the home can hold up to 11 women with 3 children each. we met back for lunch and then all headed back out to finish raking the humongous heard and Ezra(Minnesota) and Ben cleaned out the gutters. we finished by about 5 but had some fun in the process(: I enjoyed jumping into the leaf piles but Tom was hauled across the yard by Ben and Ezra and hurled into the piles. it was hilarious and it only happened a couple times so he's okay(: the. Makayla climbed a tree and I decided to join. we get up there and then realize how filthy we're getting and when makayla was holding a branch trying to get down it snapped and she fell. we were only about 3 feet from the ground by this point but it was still the funniest thing in the world(: thank god for cameras because we got it all on video! hahaha(: we went back to have dinner with Helen and Chris at there house and enjoy a nice shower(: then before bed we prepared for the 6 church services we were going to be a part of the next morning. kind of stressful but of coarse we found ways to make it fun!(: Vane(Vanessa) was making a poppy for a poster and we kept thinking she was saying puppy so we decided it was a great idea to stop planning for a bit to make sure she knew the difference(: imagine 9 tired ywam students sitting around a table at 10:30pm ready to go to bed but repeating over and over again "puppy, poppy. PUPPy POPpy!" hahaha it was the best(: then when all was planned and Vane decided that puppy and poppy were the same, we went to bed. oh! I forgot to mention that I was the smart one and made a bed from the couch cushions from downstairs so I slept like the angel I am(: haha just kidding. but it was great sleep(:
Sunday morning we split into three groups that went to three very traditional churches and introduced ourselves and lead a short hymn and stayed for the service. after that we met at home and ate and cleaned up then headed out in two groups to two more places. my group (everyone but Ben, Stephie and Tara) went to a small congregation of little old British ladies(: Ezra, Valerie, Lisa and I arrived earlier to set up things for a short worship service and when the us girls went to practice on another room (gone no longer than 5 minutes) we came back to Ezra completely surrounded by little grannies(: cutest thing ever!! he was definitely a hit with the ladies(; haha. then the rest arrived and Tom informed us that he was uncomfortable around older people. not bad but he just did t know what to say....he was delivering he message. at the end this one lady kissed us all on the cheeks and when she got totem he turned bright red and we couldn't help but bust out laughing:p loved it(: we got picked up by a mini bus that the family home sent Paul (a resident) and another ma to come get us all. the home is for men out of rehab to come and stay and have a place of their own. the stay in their own rooms and learn things like plumbing and electric things as well as take media classes from Helen. they practice in the building they live in by fixing it up and redecorating it. they aren't forced into God but they come into the home knowing it is a Christian organization and that the media classes are taught in a way that includes a little bit of teaching about the lord. moat of them are recovering from drug or alcohol addiction (some both) and they are living in a place that loves them and takes care of them. it's really amazing to see the heart of these guys and how interested they are in learning more about the lord. we lead service there singing a few worship songs and then Ezra spoke about a variety of things. we also did our little drama and it really seemed to hit home. at the end we offered prayer and I was surprised how receptive they were to it. by the end of a 3 hour night the boys had bonded so well with the guys at the home and we were asked numerous times by a few of them to please please please come back! i was amazed at myself at the things god brought to my mind to pray for and how I felt like I could pray forever. it was like word vomit, gross but true. my heart really broke for these guys and I can't wait to hear about how they are doing in the future!
when we got home (now 11pm) we realized we were hungry. so what did we do? ordered take out of coarse!!(: best and worst decision I think we could have made. the burping contests were atrocious but analgesic hilarious(: unfortunately makayla hadn't been feeling well that night so she slept on the couch and then in the morning Stephie and vane were also sick. all very nauseous and upset stomata. praying that the rest of us don't catch the bug as we are arriving back in London now.
if I could leave you with one thin it would be this: in EVERYTHING to do, do it in the glory of god and with his magnificent love. if you live in that love, you won't have to do much else for the holy spirit to change lives. no matter if you're sleeping in a bed or on the floor or son have anywhere to stay, give thanks for the day that you were blessed with. every moment and action is a chance to show the love of god that manifests itself inside our hearts. with this love and faith anything is possible. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself." God Bless!
the next morning (Saturday) we got up bright and early, ate breakfast and then split into teams to serve in two different places. my group (Stephie-California, Makayla and Vanessa) went to a fall festival that one of the churches was putting on and had tea and biscuits with people and then helped clean up after. the other team wen to rake leaves at a home where the church is starting ministry for women and their children who are living in difficult situations. the home can hold up to 11 women with 3 children each. we met back for lunch and then all headed back out to finish raking the humongous heard and Ezra(Minnesota) and Ben cleaned out the gutters. we finished by about 5 but had some fun in the process(: I enjoyed jumping into the leaf piles but Tom was hauled across the yard by Ben and Ezra and hurled into the piles. it was hilarious and it only happened a couple times so he's okay(: the. Makayla climbed a tree and I decided to join. we get up there and then realize how filthy we're getting and when makayla was holding a branch trying to get down it snapped and she fell. we were only about 3 feet from the ground by this point but it was still the funniest thing in the world(: thank god for cameras because we got it all on video! hahaha(: we went back to have dinner with Helen and Chris at there house and enjoy a nice shower(: then before bed we prepared for the 6 church services we were going to be a part of the next morning. kind of stressful but of coarse we found ways to make it fun!(: Vane(Vanessa) was making a poppy for a poster and we kept thinking she was saying puppy so we decided it was a great idea to stop planning for a bit to make sure she knew the difference(: imagine 9 tired ywam students sitting around a table at 10:30pm ready to go to bed but repeating over and over again "puppy, poppy. PUPPy POPpy!" hahaha it was the best(: then when all was planned and Vane decided that puppy and poppy were the same, we went to bed. oh! I forgot to mention that I was the smart one and made a bed from the couch cushions from downstairs so I slept like the angel I am(: haha just kidding. but it was great sleep(:
Sunday morning we split into three groups that went to three very traditional churches and introduced ourselves and lead a short hymn and stayed for the service. after that we met at home and ate and cleaned up then headed out in two groups to two more places. my group (everyone but Ben, Stephie and Tara) went to a small congregation of little old British ladies(: Ezra, Valerie, Lisa and I arrived earlier to set up things for a short worship service and when the us girls went to practice on another room (gone no longer than 5 minutes) we came back to Ezra completely surrounded by little grannies(: cutest thing ever!! he was definitely a hit with the ladies(; haha. then the rest arrived and Tom informed us that he was uncomfortable around older people. not bad but he just did t know what to say....he was delivering he message. at the end this one lady kissed us all on the cheeks and when she got totem he turned bright red and we couldn't help but bust out laughing:p loved it(: we got picked up by a mini bus that the family home sent Paul (a resident) and another ma to come get us all. the home is for men out of rehab to come and stay and have a place of their own. the stay in their own rooms and learn things like plumbing and electric things as well as take media classes from Helen. they practice in the building they live in by fixing it up and redecorating it. they aren't forced into God but they come into the home knowing it is a Christian organization and that the media classes are taught in a way that includes a little bit of teaching about the lord. moat of them are recovering from drug or alcohol addiction (some both) and they are living in a place that loves them and takes care of them. it's really amazing to see the heart of these guys and how interested they are in learning more about the lord. we lead service there singing a few worship songs and then Ezra spoke about a variety of things. we also did our little drama and it really seemed to hit home. at the end we offered prayer and I was surprised how receptive they were to it. by the end of a 3 hour night the boys had bonded so well with the guys at the home and we were asked numerous times by a few of them to please please please come back! i was amazed at myself at the things god brought to my mind to pray for and how I felt like I could pray forever. it was like word vomit, gross but true. my heart really broke for these guys and I can't wait to hear about how they are doing in the future!
when we got home (now 11pm) we realized we were hungry. so what did we do? ordered take out of coarse!!(: best and worst decision I think we could have made. the burping contests were atrocious but analgesic hilarious(: unfortunately makayla hadn't been feeling well that night so she slept on the couch and then in the morning Stephie and vane were also sick. all very nauseous and upset stomata. praying that the rest of us don't catch the bug as we are arriving back in London now.
if I could leave you with one thin it would be this: in EVERYTHING to do, do it in the glory of god and with his magnificent love. if you live in that love, you won't have to do much else for the holy spirit to change lives. no matter if you're sleeping in a bed or on the floor or son have anywhere to stay, give thanks for the day that you were blessed with. every moment and action is a chance to show the love of god that manifests itself inside our hearts. with this love and faith anything is possible. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself." God Bless!
November 11, 2010
First I'd like to take the time to say thank you to all the veterans of the United States military and the English military. Thank you for putting your life on the line to save ours just like Christ first did. Thank you for having so much pride and love for your country that you would leave your homes and families for the sake of freedom. God Bless You.
Now, I know it's been a long time since I've written. I have been so busy and put it off for such a long time. Bare with me, I don't like to write much. Tomorrow morning at 7am we leave for mini outreach in Sheffield (about 4 hours north of Harlesdon where I live and I am SO excited! Not so much about waking up before 7 but because it's the first time I feel like I get to go make a difference somewhere. We are performing a couple dramas; one for the youth group and one for the kids. The one for the youth is called "Masks" and the little kid one is "The Chair". While we're there we're there we will be working on a house for women and getting it ready to be lived in, visiting a retirement home to sing some hymns and share a little message, a men's shelter and the youth group and children's part of church.
We have also FINALLY been told the possible locations for out big outreach. They are (big dramatic pause) Bulgaria, Romania, Spain, Serbia or possibly Israel. We haven't made any definite plans so please pray for direction and clarity from God about where we are supposed to go! So there you go! The suspense is over...kind of. Thank you so much for all your thoughts and prayers and for supporting me while I've been away. You don't know how much it means to me and how lucky I feel to know I am supported at home.
This last week (the week I didn't write) we started to learn about the "plumbline of God's will". We discovered in ourselves things from our past or things that have been taught to us by authority figures that were holdings us back and causing us to build up walls to God and His divine will for our lives. It was weird to me what kind of things came up that I had pushed under the rug and thought nothing of for the longest time. I had already forgiven these things but I didn't realize that I was still having a hard time getting over them. God really revealed His Father heart to me and I could feel it in my heart instead of knowing it in my head.
I can honestly say that the confession time we had was the best thing I think i have ever done for myself. I feel so much more free of guilt and understood than I have in a long time. I don't like to cry so normally I do it when I'm alone, but I was surprised at how easily the tears came when I was sharing my heart with these people that I have only known a month. Even though I've known them so short a time, I feel like they know better than most of my friends. They know my struggles and where my heart is and how I have become who I am today. I love them with all my heart and hearing some of their stories made me hurt and cry with them. I was so happy to let God lift this burden off of me and I can feel the spiritual difference in myself and my family (ywam) in everything we do. We know and understand each other a lot better and I feel like I can trust every one of them with anything and everything.
It has started to get a LOT colder out but I absolutely love it! The park we walk through to get to the other house is covered in beautifully colored leaves and the fresh cold air feels amazing to my lungs when I finally get out of the house. It's amazing the difference a short cold intercession walk can have on your whole attitude. It wakes me up and makes me start the day with God on my mind and in my heart.
On Saturday I had the amazing privilege of spending the entire day with Mrs. Bestie McLain! We went to the National Gallery, the British Museum and the Tate Modern Museum. It was way too much beauty for my brain to handle but I felt so blessed to be able to go and see more of where I live. We also went to a really great pub not too far from the main square where I had my first fish n' chips meal. SO GOOD!(: There's nothing better in the world than walking through gorgeous London with a good friend, great conversation and so many amazing things to see! It was a very lovely day; probably the best I've had since I've been here!
I won't have internet while I'm on mini outreach until Monday I don't think...But I will try to be better about blogging when I get back and teling you all about my adventures(: God Bless! He and I love you!
Now, I know it's been a long time since I've written. I have been so busy and put it off for such a long time. Bare with me, I don't like to write much. Tomorrow morning at 7am we leave for mini outreach in Sheffield (about 4 hours north of Harlesdon where I live and I am SO excited! Not so much about waking up before 7 but because it's the first time I feel like I get to go make a difference somewhere. We are performing a couple dramas; one for the youth group and one for the kids. The one for the youth is called "Masks" and the little kid one is "The Chair". While we're there we're there we will be working on a house for women and getting it ready to be lived in, visiting a retirement home to sing some hymns and share a little message, a men's shelter and the youth group and children's part of church.
We have also FINALLY been told the possible locations for out big outreach. They are (big dramatic pause) Bulgaria, Romania, Spain, Serbia or possibly Israel. We haven't made any definite plans so please pray for direction and clarity from God about where we are supposed to go! So there you go! The suspense is over...kind of. Thank you so much for all your thoughts and prayers and for supporting me while I've been away. You don't know how much it means to me and how lucky I feel to know I am supported at home.
This last week (the week I didn't write) we started to learn about the "plumbline of God's will". We discovered in ourselves things from our past or things that have been taught to us by authority figures that were holdings us back and causing us to build up walls to God and His divine will for our lives. It was weird to me what kind of things came up that I had pushed under the rug and thought nothing of for the longest time. I had already forgiven these things but I didn't realize that I was still having a hard time getting over them. God really revealed His Father heart to me and I could feel it in my heart instead of knowing it in my head.
I can honestly say that the confession time we had was the best thing I think i have ever done for myself. I feel so much more free of guilt and understood than I have in a long time. I don't like to cry so normally I do it when I'm alone, but I was surprised at how easily the tears came when I was sharing my heart with these people that I have only known a month. Even though I've known them so short a time, I feel like they know better than most of my friends. They know my struggles and where my heart is and how I have become who I am today. I love them with all my heart and hearing some of their stories made me hurt and cry with them. I was so happy to let God lift this burden off of me and I can feel the spiritual difference in myself and my family (ywam) in everything we do. We know and understand each other a lot better and I feel like I can trust every one of them with anything and everything.
It has started to get a LOT colder out but I absolutely love it! The park we walk through to get to the other house is covered in beautifully colored leaves and the fresh cold air feels amazing to my lungs when I finally get out of the house. It's amazing the difference a short cold intercession walk can have on your whole attitude. It wakes me up and makes me start the day with God on my mind and in my heart.
On Saturday I had the amazing privilege of spending the entire day with Mrs. Bestie McLain! We went to the National Gallery, the British Museum and the Tate Modern Museum. It was way too much beauty for my brain to handle but I felt so blessed to be able to go and see more of where I live. We also went to a really great pub not too far from the main square where I had my first fish n' chips meal. SO GOOD!(: There's nothing better in the world than walking through gorgeous London with a good friend, great conversation and so many amazing things to see! It was a very lovely day; probably the best I've had since I've been here!
I won't have internet while I'm on mini outreach until Monday I don't think...But I will try to be better about blogging when I get back and teling you all about my adventures(: God Bless! He and I love you!
October 27, 2010
Education means to bring out what is already in. (Latin) No one can give you something that is already inside of you. That’s why the things from outside of you will not change you. Something needs to happen inside of you in order for you to be changed. Sometimes we don’t know what is going on inside of us; especially when we become a Christian.
Your identity is built up on a foundation created between when you were conceived until you turned 7 years old. Everything and everyone in your life has affected that foundation and from that foundation we build our life. This is called memory. If you want to rebuild your foundation then you would have to be born again. We need to be born again out of the water and of the spirit. In order to be born again we have to come out of the water and out of the spirit.
In Genesis we have creation and the spirit was moving over the waters. Then came creation and then humanity. Revelation 17:15 “Then the angel said to me, ‘The waters where the prostitute is ruling represent masses of people of every nation and language.’”
To be born out of the spirit we have to come out of the water. You have to separate yourself from your nation, the multitudes of people and language; these things make up the water. But you don’t have to be born again in order to believe. If you want to be transformed, nobody can do it for you. You have to want it and to be open to God to transform you.
The disciples were not born again but they were believers. A true disciple is someone who will follow Jesus no matter what that means. Jesus first gave the disciples a calling and a mission which was humanity. They were giving responsibility and authority to be “fishers of men”. Then Jesus gave them authority and power to heal and cast out demons. The disciples were not baptized in the Holy Spirit when they were given this authority. For them to experience something beyond their natural experience, God gave them this authority and mission.
Every time a miracle happened Jesus highlighted the faith of the receiver. He never talked about himself or his own power. He even told people not to tell that it was him who did it. We cannot give anything to anyone unless they are willing to receive it or unless they have faith. Jesus always exalted the faith of the person receiving the gift or the miracle from Him. Every action in our life that is not an action of faith is basically sin (Romans 14:23).
Faith: The assurance of the things you cannot see and the conviction about a future that is still to happen. When you are assured about something and you have conviction of something, you act on in. Faith leads to action. Our faith forces that future that was promised to happen. The opposite of faith is memory. You cannot be born again or change your identity unless you live in faith. If you live in memory, you make decisions according to that memory so we condemn our future to be a repetition of the past. Nothing is new if we live in memory and not in faith. Faith in God makes all things new.
If you are in Christ you are a new creation, the old things pass away and everything is made new. It doesn’t matter what happened before and what is in your memory or what age you find yourself in Christ, all things are made new. God makes things new every morning. Your faith opens up opportunity for God to work in your life.
Hebrews 2:14 “Because God’s children are human beings-made of flesh and blood-the Son also became flesh and blood. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the devil, who had the power of death.”
We have a fear of death and a fear of punishment but Jesus died to overcome that fear and show us the love of God. Love of God cast out the fear of death because He covered all sin and therefore we don’t have to fear punishment because it has already been paid. It’s the fear of death that holds us in captivity and holds us in punishment. Sin was established in us as soon as we were conceived (Psalm 51:5). That is why we need to be born again. Not to have faith but to be rid of our sin.
What we have been in Christ has always been because it was there before the creation of the world. We are born to live forever but our identity in Christ has no beginning and no end. The living word of God is the seed of God. It is Jesus.
John 20:21-23 “Again he said, ‘Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I am sending you.’ Then he breathed on them and said, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, they are forgiven. If you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.’” We have been forgiven and given the authority to forgive sin according to his word. What we have freely received by grace we are now authorized to freely give. ¬When we have received the Holy Spirit, living water will flow from us (our new identity). We are a holy nation and a chosen generation or living water.
Prayer is speaking what God is saying.
Acts 2:37 “Peter’s words pierced their hearts, and they said to him and to the other apostles, ‘Brothers, what should we do?’” (This is when the apostles were praying in the upper room and God sent wind and an earthquake so they ran out. When they came outside there were multitudes of people for a festival in the streets and the disciples could understand the different languages and began preaching the gospel in native tongues.)
We are the church. Our foundation is love, forgiveness, blessings, grace, mercy, power, authority, life, peace, etc. In reality our foundation is God himself. Now we have this foundation that was given to us and it has a connection to our life which is called the spirit. Now to build up our new identity we give the things that our foundation was built on. We are to give as freely as we received to transform and change people and the world. These things will be manifested by us wanting to do it and by faith. Our free will is not over ruled by receiving Jesus, so we need to choose to share these things. All of these things are inside of us already; we have to discover them within ourselves. We have to put ourselves up on this foundation so that our souls may become a channel for this flow of living water.
The question is this: In terms of transformation, when we are born again, do we need someone else? The reality is no. We take what is inside of us and bring it out. Nobody can do that for us.
If we have a new covenant then the old covenant is useless. Whatever we use from the old covenant will not produce anything because it has been made invalid by the new. The church makes itself visibly known as a building and then physically as people.
In the morning we wake up and our senses have to stimulate to our environment. We are supposed to start our day by dying to ourselves, picking up our cross and following God. We are supposed to die to our self-determination. If we don’t we have already failed. We have to listen to God; not our senses, not our wants and not our own thoughts. We are supposed to listen and follow God. Even in our natural dimension we are limited but God is unlimited. What we learn to believe and what we start to believe with faith turn into things that we know.
The first thing God gave the disciples was authority and ironically, that is the last thing the church will give you. We have to submit to one another because our foundation is the same. We have to lean on each other in order to fulfill for the Kingdom of God, not our personal satisfaction.
There was gathering and activities for the church but there was no temple for the church. The church manifested every day through each other. They did not stay in a building and call themselves Christians; they were spread over the land and went out all over. There was no limit of time and space, they purely believed that when two or more are gathered God will do what they asked him to do. They came together in community to achieve a common purpose. THAT is what the church is and what it should be. We are meant to love one another.
If the church becomes a temple where Christianity only manifests in a building among a few people, it is not going to change anything. If we depend on a building to go to one day a week to feel this fulfillment and to feel God, we will wake up the next morning feeling like crap. It will not do anything for our spirit and it will not help us to grow. What you receive from a church is not going to help you in your life and not going to change you, you change yourself once you discover God who was with you since before the world was created.
The temple was not an idea of Jesus because it is a part of the old covenant. Paul preached that God didn’t inhabit buildings made by men. He can visit there but He does not dwell within the temple, He dwells inside of us (His church). God does not need a temple to dwell on earth, He needs us to open ourselves for Him to inhabit our beings and our bodies to bring the world to Him.
Your identity is built up on a foundation created between when you were conceived until you turned 7 years old. Everything and everyone in your life has affected that foundation and from that foundation we build our life. This is called memory. If you want to rebuild your foundation then you would have to be born again. We need to be born again out of the water and of the spirit. In order to be born again we have to come out of the water and out of the spirit.
In Genesis we have creation and the spirit was moving over the waters. Then came creation and then humanity. Revelation 17:15 “Then the angel said to me, ‘The waters where the prostitute is ruling represent masses of people of every nation and language.’”
To be born out of the spirit we have to come out of the water. You have to separate yourself from your nation, the multitudes of people and language; these things make up the water. But you don’t have to be born again in order to believe. If you want to be transformed, nobody can do it for you. You have to want it and to be open to God to transform you.
The disciples were not born again but they were believers. A true disciple is someone who will follow Jesus no matter what that means. Jesus first gave the disciples a calling and a mission which was humanity. They were giving responsibility and authority to be “fishers of men”. Then Jesus gave them authority and power to heal and cast out demons. The disciples were not baptized in the Holy Spirit when they were given this authority. For them to experience something beyond their natural experience, God gave them this authority and mission.
Every time a miracle happened Jesus highlighted the faith of the receiver. He never talked about himself or his own power. He even told people not to tell that it was him who did it. We cannot give anything to anyone unless they are willing to receive it or unless they have faith. Jesus always exalted the faith of the person receiving the gift or the miracle from Him. Every action in our life that is not an action of faith is basically sin (Romans 14:23).
Faith: The assurance of the things you cannot see and the conviction about a future that is still to happen. When you are assured about something and you have conviction of something, you act on in. Faith leads to action. Our faith forces that future that was promised to happen. The opposite of faith is memory. You cannot be born again or change your identity unless you live in faith. If you live in memory, you make decisions according to that memory so we condemn our future to be a repetition of the past. Nothing is new if we live in memory and not in faith. Faith in God makes all things new.
If you are in Christ you are a new creation, the old things pass away and everything is made new. It doesn’t matter what happened before and what is in your memory or what age you find yourself in Christ, all things are made new. God makes things new every morning. Your faith opens up opportunity for God to work in your life.
Hebrews 2:14 “Because God’s children are human beings-made of flesh and blood-the Son also became flesh and blood. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the devil, who had the power of death.”
We have a fear of death and a fear of punishment but Jesus died to overcome that fear and show us the love of God. Love of God cast out the fear of death because He covered all sin and therefore we don’t have to fear punishment because it has already been paid. It’s the fear of death that holds us in captivity and holds us in punishment. Sin was established in us as soon as we were conceived (Psalm 51:5). That is why we need to be born again. Not to have faith but to be rid of our sin.
What we have been in Christ has always been because it was there before the creation of the world. We are born to live forever but our identity in Christ has no beginning and no end. The living word of God is the seed of God. It is Jesus.
John 20:21-23 “Again he said, ‘Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I am sending you.’ Then he breathed on them and said, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, they are forgiven. If you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.’” We have been forgiven and given the authority to forgive sin according to his word. What we have freely received by grace we are now authorized to freely give. ¬When we have received the Holy Spirit, living water will flow from us (our new identity). We are a holy nation and a chosen generation or living water.
Prayer is speaking what God is saying.
Acts 2:37 “Peter’s words pierced their hearts, and they said to him and to the other apostles, ‘Brothers, what should we do?’” (This is when the apostles were praying in the upper room and God sent wind and an earthquake so they ran out. When they came outside there were multitudes of people for a festival in the streets and the disciples could understand the different languages and began preaching the gospel in native tongues.)
We are the church. Our foundation is love, forgiveness, blessings, grace, mercy, power, authority, life, peace, etc. In reality our foundation is God himself. Now we have this foundation that was given to us and it has a connection to our life which is called the spirit. Now to build up our new identity we give the things that our foundation was built on. We are to give as freely as we received to transform and change people and the world. These things will be manifested by us wanting to do it and by faith. Our free will is not over ruled by receiving Jesus, so we need to choose to share these things. All of these things are inside of us already; we have to discover them within ourselves. We have to put ourselves up on this foundation so that our souls may become a channel for this flow of living water.
The question is this: In terms of transformation, when we are born again, do we need someone else? The reality is no. We take what is inside of us and bring it out. Nobody can do that for us.
If we have a new covenant then the old covenant is useless. Whatever we use from the old covenant will not produce anything because it has been made invalid by the new. The church makes itself visibly known as a building and then physically as people.
In the morning we wake up and our senses have to stimulate to our environment. We are supposed to start our day by dying to ourselves, picking up our cross and following God. We are supposed to die to our self-determination. If we don’t we have already failed. We have to listen to God; not our senses, not our wants and not our own thoughts. We are supposed to listen and follow God. Even in our natural dimension we are limited but God is unlimited. What we learn to believe and what we start to believe with faith turn into things that we know.
The first thing God gave the disciples was authority and ironically, that is the last thing the church will give you. We have to submit to one another because our foundation is the same. We have to lean on each other in order to fulfill for the Kingdom of God, not our personal satisfaction.
There was gathering and activities for the church but there was no temple for the church. The church manifested every day through each other. They did not stay in a building and call themselves Christians; they were spread over the land and went out all over. There was no limit of time and space, they purely believed that when two or more are gathered God will do what they asked him to do. They came together in community to achieve a common purpose. THAT is what the church is and what it should be. We are meant to love one another.
If the church becomes a temple where Christianity only manifests in a building among a few people, it is not going to change anything. If we depend on a building to go to one day a week to feel this fulfillment and to feel God, we will wake up the next morning feeling like crap. It will not do anything for our spirit and it will not help us to grow. What you receive from a church is not going to help you in your life and not going to change you, you change yourself once you discover God who was with you since before the world was created.
The temple was not an idea of Jesus because it is a part of the old covenant. Paul preached that God didn’t inhabit buildings made by men. He can visit there but He does not dwell within the temple, He dwells inside of us (His church). God does not need a temple to dwell on earth, He needs us to open ourselves for Him to inhabit our beings and our bodies to bring the world to Him.
October 26, 2010
Clean Conscience:
The Conscience is the capacity to know the difference between good and bad and something that alerts us when we do something wrong.
Holiness: This, along with conscience, has to do with good and bad. It is living right, doing things according to God’s heart, being blameless or without blemish, being connected to God in such a way that He is constantly filtered through you, being pure and washed clean before God, set apart, being able to face God and speak with Him, being able to resist temptation and being disgusted by sin, dedicated or devoted to the service of God, having a spiritually pure quality.
Can we actually attain holiness? Maybe temporarily if we are lead in a holy way, but because we are on the other side of heaven, it’s harder. It’s something we should strive for every day. The bible says we are holy by the blood of Jesus but we may not always live like it even though He always sees us this way. Sin, pride, our will, independence, selfishness, impure thoughts, temptations, apathy (I can’t be bothered), worldly desires, wounds, rage, guilt, ignorance, our morals or values, our guilt about out past, unforgiveness, and our world view/upbringing stops us from being holy.
Namen (the leper) was told by a prophet to bath in the Jordan River to be cured. (Lepers are usually set apart because they are highly contagious and seen as dirty, filthy, dangerous and unholy.) He was a very brave soldier that one many battle and the favor of the king, but he was covering up his leprosy with his armor until he was at home where nobody could see him. Everyone saw him as a brave honorable man and nobody knew about the pain and the disease he had covered up. It was something that was keeping him from being holy because of the emotional pain and unforgiveness of his own body. He desired to be clean but was scared of being exposed and for people to know his imperfection.
God is light, there is no darkness in Him. If we say we have communion with Him but live in darkness we are liars. But if we live in the light with Him and like He does, we have community with others and the blood of Christ covers our sin. Therefore, we CAN be holy. It’s very difficult but it is possible.
Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts and my ways are not your ways declares the Lord. And my thoughts and my ways are higher than the heavens above the earth.”
Do we walk so people don’t discover who we really are and walk in fear so people won’t know what is really inside of us? Namen didn’t believe that he could be cured so simply and wondered why he had not been cured by God if he was in such favor. It wasn’t even the prophet that told him, it was his servant and it frustrated him. He was angry at this simple cure and thought that the God that had blessed him with so many victories in battle and so many riches wasn’t giving him a great glorious redemption and refused it at first. Then when his servant came to him and asked why he wasn’t following God’s way, he went and bathed 7 times in the Jordan River and was healed.
Then Namen tried to offer gifts to Elijah the prophet but he refused saying that he would not take any payment for what the Lord had done. But as Namen started to leave, Elijah’s servant chased him down and lied saying that his master wanted 2 sets of clothing and 2 bags of silver. Namen gladly gave these things to the servant and sent him back home. When Elijah heard of this, he called his servant and asked him where he had been. When the servant replied by saying he had never left, Elijah called him out. Then the servant was cursed with the leprosy that Namen had just been rid of.
(James 3:1-12) Verse 2-3 talk about putting a bit in a horse’s mouth and how you can turn the whole horse by its mouth. Sometimes we need to control our whole selves by controlling how we use our words. With our words we can bind people and condemn them. (James 5:9-12) “…let your yes be yes and your no be no…” verse 16 says “…pray for each other and confess to each other your sins…”
Colossians 2:13-15 “When you were dead in your sins God made you alive with Him….triumphing over sin on the cross.”
Hebrews 12:11-17 “When we are punished it seems to us at the time something to make us sad and not glad…keep walking on the straight path…try to be at peace with everyone and live in holiness…let nobody become like a bitter plant…or immoral…”
Matthew 5:29 “So if your eye-even your good eye-causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”
Matthew 5:17-20 “Don’t misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not even the smallest detail of God’s law will disappear until its purpose is achieved. So if you ignore the least commandment and teach others to do the same, you will be called the least in the Kingdom of Heaven. But anyone who obeys God’s laws and teaches them will be called great in the Kingdom of Heaven.”
“How many kings step down from their thrones? How many lords have abandoned their homes? How many greats have become the least for me? And how many gods have poured out their hearts to romance a world that is torn all apart? How many fathers gave up their sons for me? Only one did that for me.” –Downhere
The Conscience is the capacity to know the difference between good and bad and something that alerts us when we do something wrong.
Holiness: This, along with conscience, has to do with good and bad. It is living right, doing things according to God’s heart, being blameless or without blemish, being connected to God in such a way that He is constantly filtered through you, being pure and washed clean before God, set apart, being able to face God and speak with Him, being able to resist temptation and being disgusted by sin, dedicated or devoted to the service of God, having a spiritually pure quality.
Can we actually attain holiness? Maybe temporarily if we are lead in a holy way, but because we are on the other side of heaven, it’s harder. It’s something we should strive for every day. The bible says we are holy by the blood of Jesus but we may not always live like it even though He always sees us this way. Sin, pride, our will, independence, selfishness, impure thoughts, temptations, apathy (I can’t be bothered), worldly desires, wounds, rage, guilt, ignorance, our morals or values, our guilt about out past, unforgiveness, and our world view/upbringing stops us from being holy.
Namen (the leper) was told by a prophet to bath in the Jordan River to be cured. (Lepers are usually set apart because they are highly contagious and seen as dirty, filthy, dangerous and unholy.) He was a very brave soldier that one many battle and the favor of the king, but he was covering up his leprosy with his armor until he was at home where nobody could see him. Everyone saw him as a brave honorable man and nobody knew about the pain and the disease he had covered up. It was something that was keeping him from being holy because of the emotional pain and unforgiveness of his own body. He desired to be clean but was scared of being exposed and for people to know his imperfection.
God is light, there is no darkness in Him. If we say we have communion with Him but live in darkness we are liars. But if we live in the light with Him and like He does, we have community with others and the blood of Christ covers our sin. Therefore, we CAN be holy. It’s very difficult but it is possible.
Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts and my ways are not your ways declares the Lord. And my thoughts and my ways are higher than the heavens above the earth.”
Do we walk so people don’t discover who we really are and walk in fear so people won’t know what is really inside of us? Namen didn’t believe that he could be cured so simply and wondered why he had not been cured by God if he was in such favor. It wasn’t even the prophet that told him, it was his servant and it frustrated him. He was angry at this simple cure and thought that the God that had blessed him with so many victories in battle and so many riches wasn’t giving him a great glorious redemption and refused it at first. Then when his servant came to him and asked why he wasn’t following God’s way, he went and bathed 7 times in the Jordan River and was healed.
Then Namen tried to offer gifts to Elijah the prophet but he refused saying that he would not take any payment for what the Lord had done. But as Namen started to leave, Elijah’s servant chased him down and lied saying that his master wanted 2 sets of clothing and 2 bags of silver. Namen gladly gave these things to the servant and sent him back home. When Elijah heard of this, he called his servant and asked him where he had been. When the servant replied by saying he had never left, Elijah called him out. Then the servant was cursed with the leprosy that Namen had just been rid of.
(James 3:1-12) Verse 2-3 talk about putting a bit in a horse’s mouth and how you can turn the whole horse by its mouth. Sometimes we need to control our whole selves by controlling how we use our words. With our words we can bind people and condemn them. (James 5:9-12) “…let your yes be yes and your no be no…” verse 16 says “…pray for each other and confess to each other your sins…”
Colossians 2:13-15 “When you were dead in your sins God made you alive with Him….triumphing over sin on the cross.”
Hebrews 12:11-17 “When we are punished it seems to us at the time something to make us sad and not glad…keep walking on the straight path…try to be at peace with everyone and live in holiness…let nobody become like a bitter plant…or immoral…”
Matthew 5:29 “So if your eye-even your good eye-causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”
Matthew 5:17-20 “Don’t misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not even the smallest detail of God’s law will disappear until its purpose is achieved. So if you ignore the least commandment and teach others to do the same, you will be called the least in the Kingdom of Heaven. But anyone who obeys God’s laws and teaches them will be called great in the Kingdom of Heaven.”
“How many kings step down from their thrones? How many lords have abandoned their homes? How many greats have become the least for me? And how many gods have poured out their hearts to romance a world that is torn all apart? How many fathers gave up their sons for me? Only one did that for me.” –Downhere
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